Are you locked in the tyranny of urgency? Have you been pulled into tensions between work, home, community, and volunteering? Are you having a hard time navigating the urgency? It’s easy to get caught up in the “everything is urgent” mindset.Perhaps a more strategic approach is to create some spaciousness for the truly important things you are longing for in your life.
I recently asked a group, “What are you longing for most of all?” There was a long silence as people had to turn down the “to do” list in their brains and ask themselves, “what exactly is it I’m longing for?” You could almost feel the space open up and then their longings spilled out across the room. It was as if the floodgates on a dam had opened up.
“I want to…
- see my best friend in person and spend a week together
- travel to Alaska
- take a break from technology
- run a marathon
- hug my mom who is 94 years old
- learn to dance
- grow vegetables
- Sit at the beach with a good book
- Laugh more
- Cry a bit
It was as if the longings had been birthed because we created space. This revelation led to a discussion on the portfolio life model. In a financial portfolio people allocate resources, they diversify the investments and they monitor progress. The same can be done with your portfolio life.
Imagine you have six allocations for your time and talent: lifestyle, recreation, learning, giving back/service, relationships, work/finance. Now consider allocating percentages for each sector of your life. How much time would you want to allocate for work/finance? relationships? service? etc. How would that be different than your current urgent portfolio life?
There is no one right way to allocate your time and talent. However, Third Half Advisors diagram is very helpful template as you explore your portfolio life allocations. David Corbett’s book Portfolio Life after 50 is also a helpful tool if you want to explore the topic deeper.
Take a moment and
- Turn down the urgency list in your brain. Take a big breath.
- Next, write down all the longings that come to your mind. What are you really longing for?
- Now, create some spaciousness in your day and get out some colored pencils. Play around with different allocations to your portfolio life pie. What feels like you? What would feel like an allocation away from the tyranny of urgency?
- Share your portfolio life allocations with someone that knows you well . Together brainstorm action steps to reallocate your time towards your longings. Think about the space and time you need to connect with what is most important to you.
I am about step into some of my longings in mid June. Spaciousness is calling! I’m longing for quiet, a lot less technology, family, sailing, open vistas of the midwest, having a picnic on a screen porch, swimming and kayaking in big lakes, headlands of Nova Scotia where my family lives, and endless conversations with good friends.
Starting mid June watch for my blogs as I travel from California to Nova Scotia. I’m creating the spaciousness for my longings as I reconnect with my beloved friends and family who I’ve missed during the pandemic. Join me on my adventures!
